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Beware Of Red Hat's April Fool's Day Joke

Fake News written by James Baughn on April 1, 2000

from the c:-dos-run-c:-me-fdisk dept.

RESEARCH TRIANGLE, NC -- We here at Humorix have been hearing reports all day long about an April Fool's Day joke embedded in Red Hat Linux 6.0 and above. The joke is a program called "640K" that simulates the MS-DOS 6.66 command line. The joke has fooled quite a large number of people, causing some of them to do foolish things, like fire up FDISK.

One member of our Vast Spy Network(tm) sent in a screenshot showing the April Fool's Day joke in action during bootup:

Starting MS-DOS...
Now booting the MSDOS.SYS kernel...

Creating 640K RAM barrier...
Loading CD-ROM driver... ERROR:
   Competing operating system CD-ROM
   found in drive D:.
   Disabling CD-ROM interface...

Loading mouse driver... ERROR:
   Non-Mightgosoft mouse detected.
   System will not function properly!

Activating Visual Edlin and Visual
   Batchfile interfaces... Done.

Welcome to Mightgosoft DOS 6.66!
(C) Mightgosoft Corporation,
  1983-2000.  All rights reserved.
  Violators of the Mightgosoft Closed
  Source License will be sold as slaves
  pursuant to UCITA clause 6-1C(a).

C:\>QUIT
Bad command or file name.  

C:\>EXIT
Error: user is an idiot.

C:\>HELP
Help files not found.  Please install
Mightgosoft DOS 6.66  Plus! Pack,
available from your local Mightgosoft
Outlet store.

C:\>CD\LINUX
Error: user invoked name of competing
operating system.  Illegal operation
performed.  User will be punished.

C:\>REBOOT
Warning: this operation is not
necessary since MS-DOS is not scheduled
to crash for at least 15 more minutes.

Proceed anyways (Y/N)? Y

Access denied.  You have insufficient
privileges to perform this operation. 
Please consult your MS-DOS Operating
Manual, page 2,412.

C:\>FDISK
Error: User attempting to modify MS-DOS
installation.  Illegal operation
performed.  User will be punished.

C:\>SCREW YOU, BILL GATES!!!!!!!!! 

[CTRL-ALT-DELETE]

From what we can gather, the joke was slipped in by a bored Red Hat employee. However, some conspiracy nuts have already speculated that a Microsoft mole could be responsible.

Users are certainly not happy about the joke. "I thought that my son had replaced my Linux partition with a DOS partition! Not knowing any better, I fired up FDISK and deleted what I thought was a newly created DOS partition. Of course, it was really Red Hat (or should I say, Black Hat) masquerading as DOS. Now I've lost my Linux install and all of my hand crafted config files that took 3 years to get perfected!"

Indeed, reports of people panicking and using FDISK have been numerous. We here at Humorix would like to issue this public service announcement: Do not touch your FDISK program if your machine appears to be running MS-DOS. Stay calm. Adjust your system clock to April 2nd, and this April Fool's Day madness will be over. Everything will be alright. Do not do anything stupid!

We would ordinarily expect such a prank to generate a firestorm of controversy and cause an angry mob to descend on Red Hat's North Carolina offices. However, that angry mob is still in Holland, Michigan protesting Slashdot's April Fool's Day joke, as previously reported.