The Socioeconomic Group Formerly Known As "Geeks"
Fake News written by on Thursday, January 4, 2001
Nobody wants to be called a "geek" anymore. The label, once worn proudly by members of the tech community as a symbol of their separation from mainstream society, is now suddenly out of style.
It all started last week when some clueless PR firm released a list of the "Top 100 Geeks", including such anti-geeks as Bill Gates, Janet Reno, Paul Allen, and Jeff "One-Click" Bezos. Meanwhile, the Wall Street Journal reported that businessmen in South Korea are striving for the "Geek Chic" image by dressing like Bill Gates.
Now that the Chief Bloatware Architect has been identified as a "geek", everybody else has bailed ship. Still undecided on a new label, the community now calls itself the S.E.G.K.A.G. (SocioEconomic Group formerly Known As Geeks).
"I cannot tolerate belonging to the same subculture as Bill Gates!" explained one former geek. "If that manifestation of evil is called a 'geek', then so be it. I am now officially a nerd."
Such sentiments have echoed throughout the
Geek Tech Community. Posted one Anonymous Coward, "Only a PR firm would have the nerve to refer to Janet Reno as a 'Classic Geek'. Real geeks -- er, former geeks -- support encryption and privacy rights, unlike Janet Reno who has obviously been reading and enjoying '1984' one too many times. What a joke!"
Another ex-geek commented, "How the hell could they choose 'Interrim-CEO-For-Life' Steve Jobs over Steve Wozniak as a 'Classic Geek'? These people have fallen into some kind of Reality Distortion Field. And why isn't Linus Torvalds on the list? Or Alan Cox, or Taco Boy, or Richard Stallman, or hundreds of other people who have actually participated in improving the computer industry?"
In related news, several thousand domain names that include the word "geek" have been put up for auction on eBay, but so far, no bids have been recorded. Registrations of domains containing "nerd", "dothead", "antigeek", "ex-geek", "segkag" are up over 2,000% in the last two days.